101 Drinking Quotes You're Sure to Enjoy

101 Drinking Quotes You're Sure to Enjoy

Sometimes, simply nothing says it better than a quote. For your entertainment purposes, we have compiled a list of funny, memorable, and even insightful drinking quotes. You will notice quotes from some of the most inspiring and influential people throughout history — and you guessed it, even they liked to have a drink. So, use these quotes with a drink in-hand and enjoy!

Famous, Funny, and Certainly Interesting Drinking Quotes — 101 to be exact

  1. “I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” - Frank Sanatra
  2. “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” - Steve Fergosi
  3. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” - Benjamin Franklin
  4. “I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already.” - Tommy Copper
  5. “Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.” - Homer Simpson
  6. “If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” - Dean Martin
  7. “Whisky is liquid sunshine.” - George Bernard Shaw
  8. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” - Ernest Hemingway
  9. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” - Benjamin Franklin
  10. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” - Frank Sinatra
  11. “Do you drink?” —“Of course, I just said I was a writer.” - Stephen King
  12. “There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.” - Raymond Chandler
  13. “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” - Rodney Dangerfield
  14. “Pour out liquor is like burning books.” - William Faulkner
  15. “Drink because you are happy, but never because you're miserable – G.K. Chesterton
  16. “Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.” - Catherine Zandonella
  17. “24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” - Steven Wright
  18. “All is fair in love and beer.” - Kurt Paradis
  19. “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” - Ernest Hemingway
  20. “Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.” - Compton Mackenzie
  21. “He that drinks fast, pays slow.” - Benjamin Franklin
  22. “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald
  23. “Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.” - W.C. Fields
  24. “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” - Ogden Nash, Hard Lines
  25. “Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.” - W.C. Fields
  26. “God was bored with the humans, so he invented alcohol.” - John Kenney
  27. “Drinkin' rum before 10:00 AM makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.” - Earl Dibbles Jr
  28. “There are two reasons for drinking wine... when you are thirsty, to cure it — the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it... prevention is better than cure.” - Thomas Love Peacock
  29. “In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry — did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.” - Tina Fey
  30. “Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” - Henry Lawson
  31. “I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics do to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties.” - Unknown
  32. “I work until beer o’clock.” – Stephen King
  33. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” - Drew Carey
  34. “I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” – Dorothy Parker
  35. “I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.” – Joe E Ellis
  36. “I don’t have a drinking problem — ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.” – Tom Waits
  37. “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.” ― Bette Davis
  38. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart
  39. “The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years.” – Michael Caine
  40. “I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.” - Ava Gardner
  41. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy that all the books in the world.” - Louis Pasteur
  42. “Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald
  43. “He was a wise man who invented beer.” - Plato
  44. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” - Pope John XXIII
  45. “I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not” – Coco Chanel
  46. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”― Joan Collins
  47. “When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun, but when you mix the two you become a dumbass.” - That 70’s Show
  48. “Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.” - N.F. Simpson
  49. “No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.” - G. K. Chesterton
  50. “When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.”- Jimmy Breslin
  51. “We drink [to] one another’s health and spoil our own.” - Jerome K. Jerome
  52. “The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a beer bottle, they’re on TV.” - The Simpsons
  53. “When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.” - Frantois Rabelais
  54. “Drink what you want; drink what you’re able. If you are drinking with me, you’ll be under the table.” - Anonymous
  55. “I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.” - Oscar Levant
  56. “Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.” - Anonymous
  57. “I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved.” - George Gobel
  58. “Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.” - Lord Byron
  59. “Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” - Dave Barry
  60. “I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly . . . ” - Anchorman
  61. “It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” - George Burns
  62. “I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.” - Joe E. Lewis
  63. “One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.” -       James Thurber
  64. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” - Henry Youngman
  65. “I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn’t pronounce it.” - Anonymous
  66. “Responsible drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron.” - Aaron Howard
  67. “Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?” - The Major and the Minor
  68. “Ah, that’s just drunk talk, sweet, beautiful drunk talk.” - The Simpsons
  69. “For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
  70. “To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems." - The Simpsons
  71. “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.” - Jack Handey
  72. "Wine is bottled poetry." - Robert Louis Stevenson
  73. "I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it." - Raymond Chandler
  74. "Wine is sunlight, held together by water." - Galileo
  75. “It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald
  76. “I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.” - Sylvia Plath
  77. “Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!” - Warren Ellis
  78. “Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.” - Alex Levine
  79. “I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of Jack Daniels.” - Darynda Jones
  80. “I think I need a drink.' — 'Almost everybody does, only they don't know it.” - Charles Bukowski
  81. “Ignorance is a lot like alcohol: the more you have of it, the less you are able to see its effect on you.” - Jay M. Bylsma
  82. “99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.” - Quentin R. Bufogle
  83. “Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.” - Warren Ellis
  84. “The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.” - James Joyce
  85. “I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” - George Best
  86. “Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.” - Robert A. Heinlein
  87. “If you were to ask me if I'd ever had the bad luck to miss my daily cocktail, I'd have to say that I doubt it; where certain things are concerned, I plan ahead.” - Luis Buñuel
  88. “Think champagne, drink champagne!” - Ellen Dean
  89. “There are worse ways to die than warm and drunk.” - George R.R. Martin
  90. “A drink centers me, but I usually make myself wait until at least 9:00 PM for that. Or 8:00 PM. Whichever comes first.” - Bill Callahan
  91. “The best thing is the combined effect of nicotine with alcohol, greater than the sum of the two parts.” - Sebastian Faulks
  92. “Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use of ay other drug with special horror.” - William S. Burroughs
  93. “No party is complete without cocktails. My friends all have different tastes when it comes to their drink of choice, so I like to maintain a well-stocked bar with different kinds of alcohol to keep everyone happy.” - Khloe Kardashian
  94. “Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.” - Sammy Davis, Jr.
  95. “Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.” - Finley Peter Dunne
  96. “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” - Winston Churchill
  97. “Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” - George Bernard Shaw
  98. “I'm a big fan of the effects of alcohol,” - Peter Steele
  99. “In 1969, I gave up women and alcohol — it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.” - George Best
  100. “A good margarita, a good red wine — I like expensive alcohol, but not a lot of it. I don't like to throw up.” - Denise Richards
  101. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” - Oscar Wilde

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